What Makes Change So Difficult to Embrace?

 Over 80% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned within a week. 

If change were easy, we’d all be wealthy, fit, and happy. It’s frustrating when you know what you want to do, but you can’t get yourself to do it consistently. If the new behavior would obviously be of benefit, why isn’t that change easy to make?

Habits are strong and pervasive.

The average person has far more habits than they realize. Each morning, you wake up and follow the same routine. You take the same to work. You think the same thoughts as you did the day before. A significant part of your day and night consists of repeating the same actions and experiences.

When you feel bored, you soothe yourself in the same 2-3 ways each time. You only eat a few foods regularly. You talk to the same people.

Our habits stop us from thinking. They’re done automatically. Anything that minimizes thinking seems to be your brain’s preference. The fewer decisions, the better.

  • To change, you must be certain that change is in your best interest. Otherwise, your habits will always win.

    Change is hard because it’s uncomfortable. You already know how to lose 25 pounds or how to find a better job. But the thought of taking the actions necessary to accomplish those goals creates discomfort.
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  • What you’re doing is already working, sort of. Your brain is preoccupied with your survival. Our brains are programmed to resist change, because what you’re doing is allowing you to live. Any change could potentially lead to death. You might be unhappy today, but you’re still alive!

    Most of us prefer misery to facing uncertainty.

    You’ve tried to change in the past and failed. You’re no dummy. If you’ve tried to change several times and failed, part of you says, “Obviously, I can’t change. What’s the use in trying?”

    It isn’t easy to change, but change is possible. The primary issue keeping you from following through on your plan to change is attempting to change too much, too soon. Smaller changes are easier to accomplish and to maintain.

How You Can Change

Change is possible with an effective approach:

  1. Be prepared to change. Expect that change will be challenging. Your odds of success improve if you’re prepared. Have a plan.

  2. Start Small. To minimize the discomfort that change creates, only change a little each week. Meditating for two minutes each day is easier than starting with 60 minutes. The key is to get in the habit of doing the new behaviour each day.
  1. Set Clear Goals: Define clear and achievable goals for the changes you wish to make. Ensure that your objectives are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

  2. Have patience. It can take months to make a change permanent. It’s often quoted that a new habit requires 30 days to instil. That’s not true. Studies show that it can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months, depending on the habit and the person.

  3. Be willing to change yourself and face the consequences. Changing yourself is scary, because you don’t know what the results will be. Accept that your life will change in some way. Discomfort isn’t always a bad thing.

  4. Learn from Setbacks: Expect setbacks and view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Analyze what went wrong, adjust your approach if necessary, and persevere. Perfection is an illusion that will only serve to destroy your confidence.
  1. Plan and Prioritize: Create a detailed plan outlining the steps required to reach your goals. Prioritize these steps to establish a logical and manageable sequence.
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  3. Break It Down: Divide your larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Breaking down your objectives makes them less overwhelming and allows you to track progress more effectively.
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  5. Seek Knowledge: Educate yourself about the changes you’re undertaking. Research, read, and learn from others who have experienced similar transformations. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions.
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  7. Build a Support System: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or mentors who can provide encouragement, guidance, and accountability during your journey.
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  9. Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Recognizing progress reinforces your commitment to change.
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  11. Evaluate and Adjust: Periodically assess your progress and the effectiveness of your plan. Be willing to adapt and make necessary adjustments to stay aligned with your goals.

Remember that change is a process that often involves patience and persistence. Understand why it’s so challenging to change and choose to make changes slowly and incrementally Embrace each step, stay committed to your vision, and believe in your ability to transform your life.